Friday, September 23, 2005

September 23, 2005

Slander Edition Friday

Slander, libel, etc. to follow:

* During Wednesday night's storm, Star Tribune gossip columnist CJ was seen prancing around outside in a Burberry raincoat, stealing small dogs from people's front lawns.

* The entire cast of Northwest Community Television's "Christ for the World Ministries" does not, in fact, believe in Christ. Rather, they choose to worship a more powerful god, known as "meth."

* Vikings' coach Mike Tice is such a douchebag that he actually sleeps with a piece of astro-turf underneath his pillow at night. His wife sleeps with a handgun under hers.

* KARE 11's Julie Nelson was seen at Red Stone groping Kirby Puckett in a bathroom stall. For shame!!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

September 22, 2005

Given that the majority of our readership is without power right now, we feel it would be wise not to post. We hope that everybody is okay.

Slanderous Minneapolis

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Septemeber 21, 2005

Hotdish Fiesta

In honor of Mexican Independence Day, which took place on September 16th, we have decided to give you a special spicy hotdish. Its not very authentic, but really, what is in Minnesota?

Mexican Hotdish

- 3 to 4 cups cooked diced chicken
- 16 ounces shredded or cubed Velveeta
- 2 cans cream of chicken soup
- 1 can diced tomatoes and green chilies, undrained
- 1 cup chopped onion
- 1 small can mild green chile peppers (exclude if you are from outside the Twin Cities as the spice may kill you and others)
- 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1/4 teaspoon salt- 1/4 teaspoon pepper
- 1 package Doritos or other trashy nacho snack chip

In a large bowl, combine chicken, cheese, soup, tomatoes, green chiles, onion, and seasonings; mix well. Crush chips and mix all but one cup into the mixture. Spoon into hotdish pan and top with remaining Doritos. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes or until your kitchen starts to smell like Chi-Chi's. Invite your pastor over and start doing tequila shots, because you're in for a heck of a fiesta.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

September 20, 2005

Slander Patrol

Today, we begin a brand new segment called Slander Patrol. A recent MN Speak piece announced that there is a new database of public records called Inspired, we have decided to run local news teams through the database to see who's a criminal. Today we present:


Alas, the only "criminal" we could find from the entire news team was Bill Carlson, and we're not even positive about that one. There are three William Carlsons in the database that fit Bill’s perceived age-range. All have been pulled over for DWIs, two of which were arrested for refusing to submit to testing. One of these winners was even arrested for driving without a license and for domestic assault. We’re keeping an eye on you, Bill!

DeRusha, frankly we're surprised. No drug busts? No prostitution rings? Where's your street cred?

We expect to find more dirt with the Fox 9 team...