Friday, September 09, 2005

September 9, 2005

State Fair Recap

Here comes the much anticipated recap of our trip to the Great Minnesota Get Together last Saturday. What better than to do some photo blogging?

Naturally, we began the day with a bag of mini-donuts and a trip to the Fox 9 booth to do blow with Robyne Robinson. We were surprised that she was up that early, but Passolt informed us that every year at the Fair, Robyne tweaks out for days at a time and spends her excess energy scrubbing the booth with a toothbrush. Very impressive. Maybe she should run the Tilt-O-Whirl?

Next was a trip to the KSTP booth. Despite the fact that we knew somebody on the "inside," this was as close as we got to meeting Dave Dahl. But seriously, after 3 pitchers of 3.2 beer at 9AM, the cardboard cut-out was just as exciting.

After 2 more pitchers of Miller Lite, we went to Empire Commons to cry over the fact that perfectly good butter was being wasted on sculpting farm girls.

In Empire Commons, we stumbled upon this picture of our grandmother in her prime. We want royalties, State Fair! That picture is copyrighted!!

This is where butter comes from.

We witnessed a very unnecessary publicity stunt: Minnesota Twin Lew Ford making guacamole at the Tejas stand. Although we were annoyed by the crowds of people, we wanted that sweet, sweet guac and to pat Lew on the butt.

Exactly the type of people you'd expect at the Mark Kennedy booth. Honestly, we would have been disappointed if we didn't see a flame shirt from a gas station.

If CNN needs some file footage for their next story on obesity, we've got enough for a fucking documentary.

And finally, what would the Fair be without seed art?

And so ends another summer and another State Fair... We'll catch you next week with more slander, more hotdish, and more nonsense.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

September 7, 2005

Celebrity Sighting

We had been planning on giving you our State Fair lowdown, but this is too important. A reader writes:

Sunday afternoon I went to Kowalskis (in Uptown) and saw Hartnett (yawn) with mother fucking Scarlett Johannson. I stood next to him and made sure he'd check me out (he did look over, but it may have been because of my extreme height, hopefully it was my short shorts). After getting rung up, I walked back to produce to make SURE it was her and it was. Not very stylish by the way, but very happy. sort of smiling to herself, REALLY enjoying the grocery store, and throwing some skips in her step, seriously.

Like a true loser, I walked ahead of them and got into my car, then followed them out in their Toyota Hybrid. Followed
them for a few turns then suddenly felt really guilty and left them be. She's short.

WOOH! Real celebrity gossip!!!