Thursday, June 23, 2005

June 24, 2005

Slander Edition Friday

You've waited patiently for a new SLANDER EDITION FRIDAY and we are here to deliver. Embrace the lucious libel:

* KSTP's Joe Schmit was seen at City Billiards last Thursday night, but he was focused on a different kind of eight-ball. Namely, cocaine. By 11pm, he was doing lines right off the pool table. Normally, this sort of behavior would get someone booted from the bar, but Schmit was considered to be "too big of celebrity," so he carried on until approximately 11:30.

* When submitting a recent story for the Pioneer Press, Charley Walters was called into his boss's office... to discuss major editing. He was instructed to stop sharing his views on the gospel through his sports stories.

* Pat Miles is a karaoke champion. She sings at Medina Entertainment Center every Friday evening under the name "Matty Piles." She specializes in Journey.

* Guess what? The main writer for Slanderous Minneapolis will be on vacation next week!

Actually, that last item is true. We will be on vacation all week next week, and thus, not writing anything on the site. We will try to make it up to you. HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!!

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

June 22, 2005

Humpday Hotdish Hoedown

This week, we have a guest* helping us out with our hotdish recipe. Enjoy!

Hello, I'm Jeanette Trompeter from WCCO. You may know me as a fantastic on-air personality, but you may not know that I'm also an excellent cook. I decided to share my favorite hotdish with you.

Fried Green Tomato Hotdish

Fried Green Tomatoes
2 cans tomato soup
chedder cheese
Durkee onions

Make fried green tomatoes however you see fit (I coat them in a mixture of flour and eggs, then fry them until golden brown). Layer tomatoes in a hotdish pan as if you were making lasagna: tomatoes, tomato soup, then cheese, and repeat. Top off the dish with shredded cheese and the Durkee onions. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes, checking often to make sure cheese hasn't burned. Invite Don Shelby and the rest of the gang over for a night of hotdish and board games.

Thanks, Jeanette!

* As always, this celebrity contribution may not be real.

June 21, 2005

Totally Legitimate Interview

Welcome to another edition of our Totally Legitimate Interview segment. Keeping with our theme of "Midwestern Flava," we sat down with James Hamilton, the Project Manager for the Minnesota State Fair Foundation.

SM: Do you consider yourself to be a local celebrity?

JH: Sure, but not on the lines of somebody like Prince or Cindy Brucato -- more like that uncle that always gets drunk at the wedding.

SM: If you weren't popular for working for the State Fair, what would you like to be known for instead?

JH: For being happily unemployed.

SM: If a carnie had a gun to your head and demanded that you take him out for dinner, where would you dine with him?

JH: Wow -- this question hits home for me. Around the 10th or 11th day of the Fair (which, for some carnies, happens to be the 10th or 11th night of sleepless nights spent mostly drinking), a gun-wielding carnie is not totally out of the question. I'd take him to Pizza Hut.

SM: What kind of innovative invention would you like to see in the Grand Stand?

JH: Air-conditioning.

SM: Which State Fair food disgusts you the most?

JH: I'm not going to make any friends saying it, but cheese curds. Who wants to eat deep-fried curd?

SM: If you could have your head carved out of any dairy product, what would it be?

JH: I had the recent opportunity of witnessing the butter carved bust of a Princess Kay of the Milky Way ... From 40 years ago. It stared at me from the deep freeze she dedicated to it. I'd prefer something a little less timeless -- like tubes of Go-Gurt.

SM: Do you think that the State Fair is more about cultural heritage, or do you think that most people come for the food and/or kitsch value?

JH: There's definitely a serious side to the fair. Just like mullets, for all ridiculousness of heads of carved butter, miniature goat competitions and the SPAM recipe contest, there is someone who takes it very seriously.

SM: If you summed up this interview in five words or less, what would you say?

JH: How did you find me?

SM: Uh, your name was listed on the State Fair website, dude.

Tomorrow, another hotdish and we promise much more slander than usual this week.