Friday, April 22, 2005

April 22, 2005


It’s a slanderous day in the neighborhood; won’t you be our neighbor? We thought we’d mix it up today by making today’s post into libelous mad libs. Please play along at home!

* CJ was seen _______________ (verb ending in “ing”) with _______________ (local celebrity) in the bathroom of a New Brighton Hardee’s.

* Need _____________ (illegal drug)? Tim Blotz has 500 lbs in his basement, worth an estimated $___________(numeric amount)!

* Local businessman Denny Hecker owes more to his success than just good business sense. Every ___________ (day of the week) night, he sacrifices ____________ (cute animal, plural) to his god, _______________ (nonsensical word).

* The entire staff of Slanderous Minneapolis had sex with ________________ (local sportscaster) at the _____________ (MN sports team) game last week. It was _____________ (adjective).

That was fun! Tune in on Monday for a special report from the East Coast!

Thursday, April 21, 2005

April 21, 2005

A Scolding

It's Spring in Minneapolis, it's warm out, and there are tons of events going on around town. Why are none of you spotting any celebrities? Do you have blinders on? Are you hiding away in your house, moping about the new pope? C'mon, people! It's time to get your collective ass in gear and start spotting some local celebs! We can't make everything up! Make us proud.

Remember, folks: tomorrow is SLANDER EDITION FRIDAY. Please help us out:

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

April 20, 2005

Humpday Hotdish Hoedown

My, we are sexy! And we like hotdish!

Green Bean Hotdish

- 2 tablespoons butter
- 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon white sugar
- 1/4 cup onion, diced
- 1 cup sour cream
- 3 (14.5 ounce) cans French style green beans, drained
- 2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese
- 1/2 cup crumbled buttery round crackers
- 1 tablespoon butter, melted


1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

2. Melt 2 tablespoons butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Stir in flour until smooth, and cook for one minute. Stir in the salt, sugar, onion, and sour cream. Add green beans, and stir to coat.

3. Transfer the mixture to a 2 1/2 quart casserole dish. Spread shredded cheese over the top. In a small bowl, toss together cracker crumbs and remaining butter, and sprinkle over the cheese.

4. Bake for 30 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the top is golden and cheese is bubbly.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

April 19, 2005


We would like to announce our candidacy for Pope… of Minneapolis Gossip. We had originally intended to run for Pope of the Catholic Church, but then found out that it requires religious training, various oaths, and uncomfortable clothing, none of which are really our thing. Plus, if we had to be the figurehead of such a large organization, we probably wouldn’t have time to keep up this blog. See how much we care about you?

Here are reasons to vote for us as Pope of Minneapolis Gossip:

* We have washboard abs.

* We deliver the finest Minneapolis gossip to you each and every day. When fine gossip is not available, we make up finer gossip for your entertainment.

* Even the media likes us! We are fully endorsed by WCCO, the St Paul Pioneer Press, and Mpls/St Paul Magazine.

* We provide nostalgic cheer to displaced Minnesotans all over the country.

* Women are not eligible to become Popes, so you can’t vote for CJ anyway.

No pressure, people. Just think about this and when the imaginary election comes up, cast your vote for Slanderous Minneapolis.

Tomorrow is HUMPDAY HOTDISH HOEDOWN. Please submit recipes here:

Monday, April 18, 2005

April 18, 2005

Monday, Monday

* WCCO does a better job of stalking Jeanette Trompeter than you lazy, good-for-nothing readers. There's also a great slideshow of high school pics of J-Tromp: [WCCO]

* Best quote ever regarding the coming-out of State Senator Paul Koering:

"The Paul Koering I know is a large teddy bear with a very big heart and he will always be the same,' said Sen. Mady Reiter, R-Shoreview." (our emphasis)

Couldn't have said it better ourselves. [Pioneer Press]