Friday, April 15, 2005

April 15, 2005


Since last week’s CJ focus was so fun, we thought we’d refine our focus again this week, namely on the staff of KARE 11:

* Amy Hockert has recently fallen ill. She received a tapeworm earlier this year while eating a day-old burrito out of Julie Nelson’s trash.

* We recently spotted Pat Evans making out with us at our house. It was hot.

* Scott Goldberg may cover the news professionally, but he covers little else. We saw him at a local “message parlor” walking around completely nude. It was hot.

* Diana Pierce is really 70 years old. She has developed a new age-defying technique: drinking botox. This helps immobilize her organs, creating a youthful, outward glow.

* Belinda Jensen is making some cash on the side by growing marijuana in her garden. Trust us, it’s not worth half of what she’s charging.

Happy Weekend to all, and to all a good night.
Slanderous Minneapolis

Thursday, April 14, 2005

April 14, 2005

Inbox Inventory

We thought that we'd spend today opening some mail, which we will share with you now:

March 29th, 2005

To: Slanderous Minneapolis
From: Jason DeRusha, WCCO

Hi guys:

Your blog is absolutely ingenious! It's about time we had some real (fake) gossip in the Twin Cities. I love it.

Feel free to make up some crap about me anytime.

Jason DeRusha
WCCO-TV Reporter

Thanks, Jason. It's good to know that we have somebody in the media on our side. Please give shout-outs to D-Shelb for us.

March 31st, 2005

To: Slanderous Minneapolis
From: [Redacted]

Slander is the term given when you are defamed orally and libel is the term given when you are defamed in writing.

Yes, dear, but Libelous Minneapolis just didn't have the same ring to it. Why don't you pull the dictionary out of your ass and send it to this chick. She needs it more than us.

April 3rd, 2005

To: Slanderous Minneapolis
From: A Fan

I am a former yet fellow Minneapolite, currently living in that town LA where they worship Har-Mar Superstar. Not that I don't think he is great, but you know, LA has a knack for making shit happen. Found a link to you on and am thrilled......looking forward to more Mpls slander.......what ever happened to those Johnson Brothers?

The Johnson Brothers are taking us to the prom next week. We picked out our dress at Glitz! in the Mall of America and made dinner reservations at Red Lobster. We're very stoked.

If you want to participate in another edition of our INBOX INVENTORY or wish to make up some gossip for tomorrow, please do so:

That is all.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

April 13, 2005


Welcome to our weekly tribute to Hotdish. A loyal reader, and fellow blogger, submitted the following recipe, straight from the kitchen of Mrs. Hubert Humphrey:

Mrs. Hubert Humphrey's Dinner-in-a-Dish
4 tablespoons shortening
2 green bell peppers, sliced
1 medium onion, chopped
1 pound hamburger
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
2 eggs
2 cups whole kernel corn
4 medium tomatoes, sliced
1/2 cup dry bread crumbs
Put shortening in skillet; lightly fry green peppers, onion and hamburger for 3 minutes or until partially done. Salt and pepper. Remove from heat; stir in eggs and mix well. Place 1 cup corn in casserole. Top with layer of meat mixture and layer of sliced tomatoes. Repeat until corn, meat mixture and tomatoes are used. Cover casserole with crumbs. Dot with bits of butter. Bake at 375 degrees F for 1 hour or until heated thoroughly.

A hotdish complete with something crunchy on top; we approve.

Join us tomorrow for a grab-bag of gossip. Send yours here, please:

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

April 12, 2005

Sports Recap

Welcome to our first, and what will most likely be our last, Sports Recap. On Friday night, we used our power and influence to secure ourselves tickets to the Twins' Season Opener. We think that the Twins lost, but in case you missed it, we have some crappy pictures to share:

Crappy Pic #1:

We arrived at the Dome desparate for not only a hot dog, but some hot lovin' as well. We picked up this guy in the parking lot, made-out with him in the bathroom, then snapped this pic as a memento. He went back to his Mystic Tanned girlfriend, but we'll always the Dome bathroom.

Crappy Pic #2:

As the National Anthem was sung, this giant flag was carried out onto the field, and the ghost of our Socialist grandfather (white image on right) showed up to throw rocks. Delightful.

Crappy Pic #3:

Did we forget to mention that they had a live eagle there? Here is his picture, fading in over the Sounds of Blackness or whomever sang that night.

Crappy Pic #4:

By far, the best thing that happened that night was the fact that we received a Chevy's coupon on the back of our ticket. Score! Either this picture is very blurry, or you are very drunk for the middle of a Tuesday afternoon. For shame.

Join us tomorrow for the HUMPDAY HOTDISH HOEDOWN.

Monday, April 11, 2005

April 11, 2005

Around Town

Welcome to another slanderous week in the wonderful land of blogging. Please join us on our media journey, won't you?

* One of our competing blogs updates for the first time in three months. Great job! This one must actually have a day job; we understand: [Minneapolis Confidential]

* CJ clues us in to the latest trend: swinger bowling leagues. We took our "wife" out and ended up trading her for an electrician named Brad. Not much bowling was actually done: [Star Tribune]

* This is the gayest thing we've seen in quite awhile... And we live next door to a rest stop: [Craigslist]

Here's our schedule for the rest of the week:

Tuesday: We rehash our experience at the Twins' opening game.
Wednesday: HUMPDAY HOTDISH HOEDOWN, this week featuring a recipe from a famous Minnesotan!
Thursday: Grab Bag

If you have anything you'd like to submit, be our guest: