Thursday, February 17, 2005

February 18, 2005

SLANDER EDITION FRIDAY!!!

Disclaimer: this may be fake...



* The entire cast of the long-running (and oh-so-90’s) play “Triple Espresso” is not hooked on espresso, but rather on crystal meth.

* Dave Dahl was recently kicked out of Dream Girls for refusing to pay for a lap dance.

* All of CJ's columns are now written exclusively by interns. CJ spends her days at work reading US Weekly and smoking menthol cigarettes while college students do her sassing for her. For shame, CJ, for shame.

* According to sources, the Menard's Guy has been dead for the last fifteen years. Commercials in which he was featured re-used footage from the 80’s (notice how he only used to appear at the beginning and the end of commercials?) and simply dubbed over his voice with an impersonator. His recent “retirement” was a result of his impersonator dying.

* KOOL 108’s Dan Donovan (otherwise known as “The Geezer”) is one step away from a piano box-burial: he weighs 800 lbs.

* Deceased local celebrity and creator of the “Peanuts” comic strip, Charles Schultz, hated children.

* Speaking of “Peanuts,” sportscaster Erik Perkins was recently arrested for defecating on a Charlie Brown statue on Grand Avenue in St. Paul.

And so ends another slandericious Friday. Be sure to help us out with your real and/or slanderous celebrity sightings: slanderousminneapolis@gmail.com

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

February 17, 2005

Around Town

First off, we'd like to apologize for yesterday's post. Did that even make sense? Normally, we'd probably erase that shame from our blogging history, but we're going to keep it on to remind ourselves to do better. Jesus, we've done better posts while we were drunk.



* Look at the image above. It was taken from a housing post on Craigslist. Is it just us, or does this place look terribly haunted (or potentially very dusty?: [Craigslist]

* A note to Robyne Robinson and her cronies at Channel 9: YOU ARE NOT THE FUCKING COPS. The reason that it takes the police a long time to bring down whorehouses is that they need legal search warrants, which require a reasonable amount of evidence. Bragging about the fact that you took a house down in two months because you sent some reporters in to get handjobs really isn't that impressive: [KMSP]

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

February 16, 2005


columnist_cj-f-h
Originally uploaded by SlanderousMinneapolis.
It's been awhile since we hated on CJ, so we feel like we should offer up something. She's had two posts already this week, probably to make up for the fact that she missed so many last week for a mysterious reason. How nice to know that CJ cares so much about charity. Honestly, this woman has a heart of gold. We have no idea why we rip into her so much, except for the fact that we need a petty rivalry.


We might be about to get a conscience! Maybe we'll turn over a new leaf and stop making fun of everything... Oh wait. As long as this lame-ass website exists, I'm sure we'll still have fuel for our sarcastic fire.

Monday, February 14, 2005

February 15, 2005

Celebrity Sighting of the Day



Sent in by a loyal reader via slanderousminneapolis@gmail.com

Who Likes Local Sports Celebrities?

Whilst waiting for my girlfriend at the venerable MSP baggage claim, I spied none other than Dan Monson! Fresh off a loss to Indiana earlier that afternoon, the Gopher Men's basketball coach looked slightly agitated, but was so friendly to the short, balding white men that wanted to say "hi" to him.

I was shocked, shocked I tell you, to learn that "Coach" took "First Class" on non-Minneapolis based airline Delta from Cincinatti!

Full disclosure, I'm a fan. I watched the team lose that day. So, as he walked by I flashed him a peace sign and said "You'll get 'em next time Coach."

He responded by saying "You got it."

Fucking-A I do. I got it.


Thank you so much for your report. For all we know, we're passing sports stars everyday. Thank god there are readers who have the good sense to pick them out for us.

February 14, 2005

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!! In honor of this holiday, we are taking a breather today. C U tomorrow!