Welcome to our special…
SLANDER EDITION FRIDAY!
From here on in, Fridays will be devoted entirely to slander. Yes, we still want your real sightings too. Send them all here
, but let us know the nature of your sighting or “sighting.” Before we begin, a reminder to those who don’t read the dictionary:
): a false or malicious statement about a person.
): a published statement falsely damaging a person’s reputation. To defame falsely.
Now let’s get down to it:
* Mike Tice (Ticey
) was seen recently at Champp’s in downtown Minneapolis. He was reported as wearing Zubaz and a witness claims that after spilling sauce from his buffalo wings down the front of his sweatshirt, he became enraged and threw his beer across the room. Luckily, nobody was injured.
* Star Tribune
writer Doug Grow
is reportedly violating his contract with the Strib by writing a daily column for a small paper in Arkansas. He is apparently getting paid under the table- in cocaine.
* It is rumored that Belinda Jensen
has a tattoo of a weather map- on her ASS. Warm fronts are soon to come!
* We spotted Star Tribune
gossip columnist CJ
at a hot downtown nightclub wearing leggings and ankle boots. When we confronted her about the 90’s-ness of her attire, she threw her Cosmo in our face and shouted “You gays are all the same!” What a bitch.
* You know who we think is a huge tool? Every fucking anchor at Channel 5.
* Mark Rosen
is not only a bad tipper, but a bad driver as well. Golden Valley resident Matt Anderson, age 12, recently had his corgi puppy run over by Rosen, who was driving his SUV 50+ MPH. Rosen apparently paid Anderson $200 in hush money at the scene to keep quiet.
Wow! Breaking the law never felt so good, except for maybe that one time that we stole a “No Fat Chicks” bumper sticker from a gift shop in Wisconsin Dells.
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