Friday, January 07, 2005

January 7, 2004 (part 2)

Our informer has written back to say that indeed, it was Robyne Robinson whom he meant to hate on and that he got the part about her hosting the weather wrong.

In which case, we'll go back to our original thought: we like Robyne and we like men in uniform, especially when they pay for our drinks.



**Weekend Treat**

* In case you're having a long, shitty day like we are, here's a treat: picture Norm Coleman ruining his Neiman Marcus pants while wading in tsunami muck and having to deal with people who don't speak "American." In case that doesn't amuse you, you'll be glad to know that Bill Frist will be there too.[Pioneer Press]

January 7, 2004

Reader Rant of the Day

This was sent to us via slanderousminneapolis@gmail.com

While hating on CJ, lets add Robin Roberts to the list. Why?

1. She once ad-libbed a Sir-Mix-A-Lot song (you know the one) on a newscast. I think this was when she was doing the weather, but I don't quite remember because I immediately washed my eyes and ears out with bleach.

And if that isn't enough.

2. (rumor has it) She will chase down and
[hook up with] anything with a uniform (not that this makes her unique in this town)

Slanderously,

ANONYMOUS


We cannot turn away from slanderous material in any form, especially if it involves men in uniform. It’s a disease, we know. Speaking of disease, we must go now- the noise of typing seems to be waking up the sailor who’s in our bed.

Have a good weekend and remember to:
a. Spot Jeanette Trompeter!
b. Invent an MLK event!

UPDATE:

We had originally thought that this was Robyne Robinson, but thanks to a comment left by a reader, we're now confused. Is there a weathergirl out there with a similiar name? Readers, we need your help: who the fuck is this?

Thursday, January 06, 2005

January 6 (part 2) in which we hate on CJ

... but first

Celebrity Sighting


Sid and Reusse
Originally uploaded by SlanderousMinneapolis.
I saw sid and reusse at the applebees in block e last week, we were on
our way to see meet the fockers. awful. on the way out of the movie I
saw reusse outside the theatre with leftovers waiting for sid? to get
out of the bathroom. Exciting I know.



CJ


CJ!
Originally uploaded by SlanderousMinneapolis.
Does anybody read CJ's gossip column in the Star Tribune? We sure as hell don't. But, we have heard some hott gossip about CJ herself.


* CJ was recently seen at Oddfellow’s restaurant canoodling with Pat Miles’ ex-boyfriend, attorney Tom Borman. From what we hear, Pat is really pissed off.

* Tonya Puckett is suing CJ for $8,547.77 for asking for 80’s bangs in her Inside Out Boutique, a Minneapolis salon. CJ could not be reached for comment. Word has it that it's not about the money, which Puckett says she will give to charity when repaid. Puckett also added that CJ should stop wearing clothing from Gantos, since the store closed ten years ago.

* CJ was seen wearing an unflattering little number [Ed note: from Gantos?!?] with an asymmetric hemline that calls attention to her lack of height. When asked to comment on her outfit, CJ yelled “The Megamall rocks!” She was visibly intoxicated.

* The Minnesota daughter of Ray Charles performed at a holiday party thrown by attorney David Valentini, et al, at 222 Event Center. The consensus of those polled is that she really can sing. The same people polled also agree 9 to 1 that CJ’s column is less interesting than taking a dump and that nachos are the best appetizer.


Who's the queen of Mpls gossip now, bitch?!? Watch out, CJ, there's a new sheriff in town.

**********************
Don't forget our pending contests, resulting in fabulous prizes:

1. Spot Jeanette Trompeter!
2. Make up an MLK Event for the Star Tribune!

January 6, 2004 (part 1)

Heavy Flow



Slanderous Minneapolis is experiencing that magical time of the month when our uterus lets its lining flow in celebration of our womanhood. But, the last time we checked, we were male, so maybe we should consult MebMD about this or at least call that cute doctor we met at the bar last week.

Anyway, we're crabby and we didn't feel like posting last night because we were too busy stuffing our face with brownies and Midol. So please be patient- your usual post will arrive around lunchtime.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

January 5, 2005

Media



* The best celebrity sighting that Minnesota Monthly has to offer is Amelia Santaniello at a Children's Hospital fundraiser. Wow, guys! What's the secret to your success? [Minnesota Monthly]

* Those dreams you had of owning your own casino are just a bit closer. But please, don't steal our idea for a Parisian theme. [Pioneer Press]

Contest!!

That's right. In addition to our "Spot Jeanette Trompeter" contest, we are presenting a new one. That's right, it's our

MAKE UP A KICK-ASS MLK DAY EVENT CONTEST

The Star Tribune posted a call-to-arms in their Metro section, asking for tips of MLK events going on around town. Are you having a kegger in honor of Dr. King? Do you know of a street dance going on for racial justice? Do you want to make something up?!?? Send us your best offers, real or fake. We'll pick the best one and send it on to the Star Tribune and send you a cool prize. If you want to send it on to the Star Tribune on your own, do it here:

christine.oconnor@startribune.com

Let the games begin.

slanderousminneapolis@gmail.com

Monday, January 03, 2005

January 4, 2004

Today's celebrity gossip mixes pity with pleasure. First, the pity, brought to us by a travelling reader:

I'm pretty sure Mike Fairbourne was in front of me in the line at the Starbucks in the Airport's C Terminal on Thursday at around 7AM. He seemed very lonely and bought one of those giant brownies and a tall coffee. Maybe one of your readers should send him some flowers.

Perhaps we will take up a collection.



And now for the pleasure part, and by that we mean shaming local celebrities. Today's shaming is focused on WCCO sports announcer Mark Rosen.

An Open Letter to Mark Rosen:

Dear Mark:

We have had two confirmed reports that you are a bad tipper and one confirmed report that you really like potato skins from TGI Fridays (we hear you get up to SIX plates at a time!!). Everybody we heard from on this issue was a college student. That means that they are poor and most likely need extra money to purchase togas or IPods or whatever it is college kids are into these days. You are not a hobo. You are a successful sportscaster and restaurant owner- these kids know that you can afford to throw some extra cash their way. So Mark: stop being a douchebag and let's make with the tipping, okay? Shape up and you might not see yourself on this site again.

Love,
Slanderous Minneapolis


As always, goodness goes here: slanderousminneapolis@gmail.com
If you have complaints, we'll shame people until they shape up. That's our crazy style.

Care11


Care11
Originally uploaded by SlanderousMinneapolis.
While on our daily trip to Byerly's to purchase matzo mix and bacon, we happened upon this sign by some SlimFast fitness journals. Does anybody know who the hell Klondike Kate is? Is she in some way affiliated with Klondike bars? Also, we are totally interested in this "Care 11" thing. Is it a strip club? Please comment freely.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

January 2, 2005

We wouldn't normally post on the weekend, but this a special exception. Many bloggers have written about us on their sites, making fun of us for considering George Corporal and the Watson's lady "celebrities." Seriously, people. If any of you watched the train wreck "The Show to be Named Later" last night (when "Access Hollywood" USUALLY is and SHOULD be) you'd realize that Slanderous Minneapolis is not what is making this town lame. As far as the staff here is concerned, Jonny Voss is one rung lower than Jack Prescott.

Happy 2005.

Oh, and here's our New Year's treat for you: [Watson's Slut]