Wednesday, September 14, 2005

September 14, 2005

KSTP Lowdown

We are forgoing hotdish today for some hot gossip. One of our operatives, entranced with the Tornado Alley display in the KSTP booth at the State Fair, hung around the staff there so much that she was able to give us all the dirty laundry on the Channel 5 News Team.

"Kristin Stinar is a bitch who chews out employees right in front of 'fans' about how unacceptable the conditions of the autograph signing sessions are, as if she is a 'real' celebrity."

"Cyndy Brucato also has a bad case of the divas. At the Fair, she refused to come out of her trailer until right before the news started, and then went straight back there after it was done, refusing to mingle with 'fans.' Also, she needs to lay off the tanning, as she is starting to resemble turkey jerky."

"Patrick Hammer is a nice guy whose personality resembles that of a TGI Fridays waiter. He calls everybody 'buddy' and always seems to have a craving for mozzy sticks."

"Nobody knows what happened to weatherman Jim Guy, but Rusty Gatenby always talks about how much he misses him."

"Joe Schmit reads at about a 1st grade level. Everybody on staff is pissed that he moved up from sports to become a real anchor because the guy is so stupid."

Excellent! This is the shit we thrive on!


Blogger Admin Worm said...

Patrick Hammer is also the only KSTP-er that sported more than the minimum required amount of "flair" on his polo shirt.

1:04 PM  
Blogger Leab said...

Hammer also took my stapler.

9:06 PM  
Blogger Admin Worm said...

Was it red?

2:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's with Hammer's voice (or lack thereof)? Cannot STAND his gravelly permanent laryngitis!!

8:26 PM  

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